Jeremy Vuolo: ‘Marriage Itself Changes You’
As they talked about marriage, Jinger Duggar Vuolo expressed sadness at “how easily people give up and how cheap marriage feels” in today’s society. Jeremy Vuolo, pointing to wisdom from Timothy Keller’s book “The Meaning of Marriage,” noted that spouses can’t expect each other to stay frozen in time.
“That’s an impossible expectation, because marriage itself changes you,” said Jeremy. In addition to “facing hard times and good times,” couples add “the ingredients of children and the ingredients of close proximity and the ingredients of financial challenges and social circumstances and the blending of in-laws and families.”
Couples must temper their expectations and realize their spouse will change, Jeremy said. They can’t say, “Well, I’m out. I didn’t sign up for you to change. I didn’t sign up for you to undergo trial and handle it this way; I thought you’d handle it that way. But that’s how so many people come into marriage.”
Through their wedding vows, couples are “covenanting together,” Jeremy added. That means they can’t “opt out” when changes or trials arise, or when life doesn’t go according to their plans. He said:
That’s not marriage. That’s a selfish, manipulative contract you signed with another individual, that insofar as you both are satisfied you’ll remain together. But if you find something better or something bad comes along, you’re out. What a horrible, manipulative, cruel way to approach the most sacred union between souls.
The couple said they’re looking forward to celebrating many more anniversaries, including their 10th, when they hope to visit Italy. Their new child will be entering the “terrible twos” around then, the Vuolos noted, adding that baby-sitting will be a “great assignment for grandma and grandpa.”
